Husband and Father

Career milestones matter to Jaret.

His children matter more.

Jack, Emma and Everett changed the way he measures success. Being a father made touring more difficult because every show required leaving something important behind. It also made him work harder. Providing for his family and helping them feel safe, supported and proud became central motivations.

Long before remote work became ordinary, Jaret was looking for ways to get home between shows. He flew home during days off, rearranged schedules and tried to prevent a touring life from becoming an absent one.

He does not pretend the balance has always been perfect.

The promise that made Bowling For Soup possible demanded missed events and long stretches away. Relationships absorbed the consequences. His children grew while he was traveling the world. There are moments he got right and others he wishes he could recover.

But being a present father is not an abstract aspiration for him.

It is continuing work.

As Jack and Emma became adults, they began showing Jaret more clearly that they understood and were proud of what he had accomplished. They also saw the effort he made to be there whenever he could. Everett shows that pride too.

It means more than an award ever could.

Jaret and Casey have built a home life that provides a counterweight to touring. A normal day begins with him getting coffee for both of them and heading into the studio for emails, calls and creative work. He may run errands, pick up the mail or help with whatever Everett needs before returning to the studio. Evenings are usually dinner, television, dogs and an early bedtime.

He calls himself a workaholic because he is one.

But it is not simply an inability to relax. He genuinely loves his work. Creating, organizing and solving problems are among the ways he experiences purpose.

He also loves movies with Casey, days by the pool, time with his children, occasional golf with Gary, Dave, Marco and his father-in-law, Dennis, and the close circle of non-music friends he and Casey have developed.

Jaret jokes that Casey got the ultimate bait and switch.

“When we met, I honestly thought the band was about to take its final bow. Now we are busier than we have ever been. I cannot imagine how much it takes for her to support me while counting the dinners, football games and everything else she has to attend alone. But there she is. When people say, ‘Thank you for doing what you do,’ I want to say, ‘Thank my wife.’ Without her, I do not think any of this would have been possible.”

Fatherhood, to Jaret, is less about creating impressive résumés for his children than raising good people.

“All I ever wanted was to raise good citizens. As they get older, I see compassion, empathy and caring in each of them, and that makes me prouder than anything. Do not wish away the years as your kids get older. You will miss the funny things they said and the constant hugs, but if you can raise them to still want to be around you as adults, that is victory.”

His adult children still want to hang out. They talk with him about life and the future, share a beer and make him laugh. All three children make him laugh constantly.

And they still laugh at his jokes—even when they may feel obligated.