OK, I admit it. I actually like Huey Lewis and The News. Sue me!! – Jaret

I don’t really pay much attention to politics. I would register to vote in a heartbeat though if they gave away free cup cakes for a year to everyone that registered. Cup cakes are delicious. - Jaret

I think the new M&M color sucks. Why did we need another color anyway? They all taste the same, and it just doesn’t look right in a bowl when you add pastels. I went to the M&M store in Las Vegas and they had gray ones. The store had a bomb threat and was evacuated, but the voice sounded like a robot, and I think everyone thought it was all part of the shtick or something. People just stood their as the BOMB SQUAD came in to dust the place. I got the hell out of there and moved onto the Coca Cola store. I did see gray M&Ms though. - Jaret

I can only come up with a few flaws in the design of the human body, but, the biggest problem is that we have nowhere to put a ball point pen. If we just had a little pouch, just under the shoulder to keep it we would always have something to write with. - Jaret

There was this kid I knew when I was growing up. He could turn his eyelids inside out, fart on demand, burp most of the alphabet, and he once dented a locker with his forehead. I wonder if he ever found an outlet for his many talents. He was good. – Jaret

I once changed a grade on my report card from school with a typewriter so I wouldn’t get in trouble and miss a movie I really wanted to see. I wish I could have seen the future, because I really would have rather been grounded that see the movie after all. It was a piece of shit, and I still have a mark against me for the lie. – Jaret

The stupidest things I ever did in my life: Once my brother took the blame for dropping a jar of jam onto a cake my mother had made for a party, when, after all, it was me that ruined the cake. My mom was pretty bent out of shape, but I thought my brother to be such a hero. 10 minutes later, my brother pissed me off and to get even with him, I went and admitted that I had ruined my mothers prized dessert. It took me a few days to realize what a dumb ass I was, but I eventually figured it out and swore to always blame everything on someone else, whenever I get the chance. – Jaret

If money did grow on trees, I would have been a Lumber Jack…for about a week and a half. – Jaret

I once broke a promise to myself and have never gotten over it. I just can’t trust me with anything anymore. Not even with the smallest things. This is some serious resentment I have built up towards myself, but it does help to talk about it. – Jaret

I wonder why pizza is so fucking delicious? - Jaret